You Might be From Michigan If...
If you define summer as three months of bad sledding.
If you think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
If you can identify an Ohio accent.
If your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack of Strohs and a bucket of smelt.
If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
If you know someone from Porch Yeurn.
If you know what a "Yooper" is.
If your car rusts out before you need the brakes done
If you know what a panczki is.
If half the people you know say they are from Detroit, yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit.
If the Big Mac is something you drive across.
If you believe "Down South" refers to Toledo.
If "Up North" means north of Clare.
If you drive 75 on the highway and always pass on the right.
If your little league baseball game has ever been snowed out.
If you know what a pastie is.
If you knew how to drive a boat before you learned to ride a bicycle.
If you know Mackinac rhymes with Mackinaw.
If you occasionally cheer "Go Lions-and take the Tigers with you."
If the word "Thumb" brings to mind a geographical rather than an anatomical definition.
If you've ever experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
If you expect Vernor's when you order Ginger Ale.
If you know that Kalamazoo not only actually exists, but isn't too far from Hell.
If your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the first day of deer season.
If your snowmobile and fishing boat have big block Chevy engines.
If either your Mother or Father disowns you for the week of the Michigan-Michigan State game.
If your year has two seasons-winter and construction.
If you know what a millage is.
If traveling coast-to-coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
If half of the change in your pocket is Canadian.
If you point to the palm of your right hand when explaining to people where you grew up.
If you call Lake Michigan the West Coast.
If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake
If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)
If snow tires come standard on all your cars.
If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike.
If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor".
If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.
If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
If you think "going up north" would be a great vacation....in January.
If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or "lopers".
If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little Ceasers's and Hungry Howie's.
If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
If you had to get a passport to go to Ohio.
If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones.
If your kid's baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out.
If the trees in your backyard have spigots.
If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists.
If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".
If you drive 70 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
If you have a favorite hockey team.
If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's.
If you know how to play Euchre.
If you know how to pronounce Euchre.
If you see nothing wrong with watching fireworks in Detroit on July 2nd.
If you find yourself incapable of throwing cans and bottles away when you are in another state.
If you use the term "party store" to describe a store where you buy snacks, beer and liquor.
If you know how to pronounce Sault Ste. Marie.
If you get excited about turning 19.
If you or your child has ever watched Sesame Street in French.
If you've used the term "Yooper."
If you've heard the band "Da Yoopers."
If you know the words to any song by Da Yoopers.
If you've ever told someone that your move to Alpena was a move to "a big city".
If you've totaled more than three cars bagging a deer.
If you met your spouse in a bowling alley.
If you can't understand why the government feels threatened by the Freemen.
If Paradise and Climax are not states but towns to you.
If you know that Kazoo is not a toy, but a town (who actually calls it Kalamazoo anyway?).
If you refer to Ann Arbor as A2.